Welcome to Subway. Anything you say can and will be used on your sandwich.
(via primarining)
tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva:
my brutalist baby just threw a block of concrete into your minimalist baby’s bedroom and shattered the beige playhouse
(via primarining)
beautiful women named excessive heat warning keep messaging me
(via thebleedingeffect)
people always ask if you have an instagram or snapchat but they never ask if you have an online journal where you broadcast every thought you have. it’s because they want you for your sexy body but not your beautiful mind. and that’s fucked up. they should want both.
(via skeleton-orb)
“Why am I so tired,” I mutter, knowing full well I’ve got at least four different comorbid conditions that cause sleepy bitch disorder.
(via glitterkaiju)
It was BAD! It had no fire, no energy, no nothing! Y'know I got a Show to run here, and it must pop POP POP!
(via zenny)
haha i like you. I’ll be growing on you like moss now if that’s alright
(via skeleton-orb)
(affirming myself in the mirror) if that fictional man was real he would fuck you. He would fuck you. You’re his exact type. If he saw you he’d get a boner instantly. He would fuck you he would fu
(via whatisacomputer)
Anyone: Hey (asks about a special interest of mine)?
Me: Becomes an unskippable cutscene
(via the-jackals)